Infidelity is a rape of marriage and family sanctity. Whenever problem of infidelity or unfaithfulness is noticed in marriage, either in money matters and/or in sexual affairs, whoever notices it, should set out immediately for permanent solution. Situation of unfaithfulness either of one or both parties in marriage is like a bird on the rope. It pays no one. It needs to be quickly dealt with. There are many causes of infidelity or cheating in marriages which I will reveal in this article with some solution. It is necessary I tell you now that divorce is not a solution to infidelity in marriage especially if the cheating partner still shows a sign of remorse for his or her actions.
CAUSES OF UNFAITHFULNESS IN THE FAMILY
Causes of infidelity in Christian family are often termed as the work of the devil. That could be right, but we also know that “curse causeless shall not come”. No smoke without fire. Experiences have shown that situations abound in Christian families that often serve as doorway or legal right for the enemy to operate against the family. Such as:
- Sin and backsliding (Proverbs 14:14, Mathew 26:41): Unrepented sins will surely lead to more sinful tendencies like lust (Mathew5:28, Proverbs 6:23-25) “then when lust has conceived, it brings forth sin” James 1:5 Immorality is the end product of unchecked lusts?
- Separation (1 Corinthians 7:10) where was Adam when Satan came to tempt Eve?
- Straying away from the matrimonial home (Proverbs 7:11, 12; Genesis 34:1-2, Judges 14:1)
- Serious lack of affection leading to dissatisfaction (Genesis 2:18, 1 Timothy 5:8, 1 Corinthians 7:3-5), A man or woman hungry for affection is a ready prey of attraction and seduction of the evil ones around. Lack of care could led to lack of affection.
- Societal influence (1 John 2:15-17, James 4:4, 1 Timothy 5:6, 1 Corinthians 15:33)
- Little affection for the world and the things that are in the world could lead to gradual flow of carnality, worldliness and covetousness. Carnal comparison will follow, and ultimately dissatisfaction with what is available will come in. wrong association and evil; comparison brings evil influence.
- Secretive tendency (2 Corinthians 4:2, 1 Thessalonians 2:3,5), not being open and straight forward with each other; having something to hide could lead to mutual suspension and in the end of unfaithfulness of one or both parties
- Suspicious attitudes and suspension. Lack of mutual trust could eventually end up in total distrust of each other. That is an open invitation to Satan and infidelity in the family
- Surrendering to temptation arising from the acting problem (money, childlessness etc.) in the family.
- Satanic assault (Genesis 3:1-6; 2 Corinthians 11:13-15, 3; 1 Peter 5:8-9). Satan and spoiler of good things wrecker of family peace, hope and destiny. Through various agents and methods he manipulates people where he is free to operate, into shameful affairs.
CONSEQUENCES OF INFIDELITY IN A FAMILY
Unfaithfulness or infidelity in the family is a breach of marriage vow. It rubbishes the great victory of husband and wife being one flesh. Therefore the foundation of mutual coexistence and peace in the family is destroyed. Unfaithfulness is a terrible canker-worm eating deep into the fabric of the family setting. It is much like wormwood destroying the wood from within and it crumbles undetected. The person involved in unfaithfulness in a family is engaged in self-destruction. Unfaithfulness in a family is an ill-wind which blows no one any good. No one is at rest. No spouse is at peace with his partner and within himself or herself. Everyone, in the family is a looser. It is a situation that should not be allowed to continue because with it, evil occurrences will come up in quick succession.
- Accusation, counter-accusation and attendant fighting
- Mental fortune oppression depression and emotional instability
- Sinful habit like alcoholism, drug addition
- Ill-lucks set-back
- Shattered dreams
- The future of children in the family is at stake
- Loss of properties, opportunities or jobs
- Mysterious sicknesses
- Protracted pregnancy miscarriage and premature birth
- Mysterious accidents and death
- The displeasure of God is easily seen in his given room to the evil to operate freely in the family, no more spiritual security and joy in the family
- Evil begets evil righteous living of each member of the family is marred. Hope of heaven is jeopardized. Eternity with God is at the brink of being ruined as eternal life becomes a mere wish.
CURE FOR UNFAITHFULNESS IN THE FAMILY
Once infinity is discovered in the family prayer should immediately start for the grace of God to seek and find solution to it. What threatens the life and eternity of a person should be taken up with seriousness it requires. Prayerfully and carefully follow the following steps
- Resolve to deal with the issue with the wisdom of God (James 1:5)
- Recognize that the essence of your marriage is peaceful consistence hat should not annual your salvation.
- Resort to tracing the cased of the problem
- Be sincere with yourself and your partner
- Go into investigatory prayer to be able to discover the truth of the matter
- When the cause is traced to a party be sympathetic and take it with godly understanding bearing in mind – Galatians 6:1
- When you discover you are at fault or equally at fault, be humble enough to repent and turn a new leaf.
- Do all that is possible, with the help of God to reverse the situation. No sacrifice is too much. No result is too great to bear. Be sure there is no condoning sin and no compromise
- Rely on the power and intervention of God for a change (1 Peter 5:7 Ephesians 3:20) Receive godly counsel at every stage.
- Recognize to come down totally for the erring one, is the key to penetrating him/her. It will cause the erring one to come to himself/herself (Luke 15:17) and be broken down. Two wrongs it is said cannot make a right.
- Resort to biological principles that will make the erring one to start confessing, repenting and making necessary amends) 1 Peter 3:1-2, 7; Romans 12:9-10; 17-21).
- Reason out the devices of the devil and discover where the devil is taking advantage of the family (2 Corinthians 2:11).
- Repent and help the other to repent of all sins committed (Act 3:19)
- Resist the devil with bold authority (Mark 16:17 , James 4:7, 1 Peter 5:8-9)
- Renounce or cause to be renounce any cult involvements (Acts 19, 18-19)
- Restitute all wrongs committed against your husband (Mathew 5:23-24)
- Remain abiding in Christ, in His living word, in fellowship, in prayers and witnessing (John 15, 7-8)
If one partner of both are members or a church, the leadership of that church should be informed about the sin for more prayers and counselling. As I said earlier, divorce is not the best solution to cheating in marriage, it should be the last if at all it is really necessary.
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Labels: Relationship and Fitness